Someone

“Why doesn’t anyone like me?
I wish someone liked me
In that way, I mean
You know what I’m talking about”

I could just imagine him leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head, face tilted up as he zoned out on his ceiling. He does that when he’s deep in thought . . . or feeling sorry for himself.

I bit my lip and wondered how I should respond. Serious? Funny? Teasing?

“Who knows? Maybe there’s someone out there, she’s just too shy to say anything
Orrrr maybe there’s someone ready to profess their undying love to you
As they stand outside your window
Watching you turn your lights on and off
= P”

We’ve had conversations like this before. One of us would want to have a pity party, while the other would deflect the depressing self-deprecating comments with humor.

“Lol
Okay, I may sound like I’m desperate, but not so desperate that I’d be happy with a stalker
She can’t be just anyone
I’ve got standards you know”

I laugh a little to myself, envisioning his famous “ha ha very funny” eye roll that I love so much.

“Oh really now? Like what?”

“Wellllllll
She has to be nice, honest, caring, trustworthy
(like she doesn’t get jealous when I hang out with my girl buddies, but I wouldn’t mind it if she got cute-jealous, you know?)
Funny, can cook, likes to cuddle
Uhhh”
Typing . . .

I quirk an eyebrow in amusement.

“Likes to cuddle? / : )”

Pause.
“So I like to cuddle
Don’t judge = P”

I smile at my computer screen.

“Of course, of course = P
Go on”

“Okay
Uhhhhhh
Confident, smart, gamer, a little nerdy”
Typing . . .

“Kinda sounds like me = P” . . .
. . . I look at my response for about two seconds then promptly erase it and replace it with a different reply.

“Kinda sounds like a female you = P”


Typing . . .
Pause.
Typing . . .

“Haha
If there was a female me, I’d be her best friend
And then her boyfriend ; )
. . . I’m kind of a sucker for that whole 'best friend/girlfriend' thing”

“I like the whole 'best friend/boyfriend' thing too : D

I pause. Inhale, type type type, enter, exhale. Eyes to screen:

“Hey, I’m your best friend!
Why haven’t you hit on me yet? = P”

Here goes nothing. I hope he takes the hint.

Typing . . .
My heart thumps way too fast as I await his reply.

Typing . . .
What is taking him so long?

Typing . . .
Maybe he’s writing one of those big, in-depth paragraphs that you never really see in IM convos unless you’re copy-pasting some article?

Typing . . .

“That must be some response you’re typing!”

That sentence seems less nervous than the tone I’d actually say it in.

Typing . . .

I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling.

PING!

I quickly sit up straight and look at the message window in time to see that he signed out. Sigh.

I’m about to close the conversation when I hear the familiar tinkling sound of someone signing in.

“Sorry, if you sent me a message, I didn’t get it. My Yahoo’s being weird again -__-”

Facepalm.

I sit there for a moment, wondering if I should try hinting again or just give up and continue deflecting with humor like I normally do. Before I get the chance to key a response, a new message pops up.

“Anyway, I gotta go now
Going out with the family to try out that new sushi place
Maybe I’ll meet someone = P
Ttyl! : )”
PING!

I don’t know how long I stare at the computer screen after he signs out, but it seems like a while. I scroll back up to the beginning of our conversation and read over what he wrote, chuckling quietly at the same parts that made me laugh before. Eventually, I sign out and turn off my computer, proceeding to throw myself across my bed and think of him.

Why doesn’t he like me?
I wish he liked me.

Flipping over, I put my hands behind my head and close my eyes, sighing.


If only I were someone to him . . . and not just anyone.